Looking into the future can be a whole lot of fun. We are
inherently tuned to make plans; to always want for something more. This serves
as the topic for my upcoming posts, starting with today’s.
My interest for this topic of discussion stems from a number
of different sources. Firstly, I’m sitting in the gap between undergraduate life
and my first year of professional training. In transitional periods such as
this it is difficult not to be in a forward-looking state of mind. The subject
of today’s post – an experience I had a couple of months ago – provided another
spark of interest in thinking about this type of thing. I also met someone
recently who has taken ownership of their life like few others I’ve met before.
Listening to this person’s story over the last couple of months has led me to
consider my own.
So I was sitting next to two people on the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh earlier in the summer. They were in business dress and had clearly spent the day working in Glasgow before jogging to catch the first commuter train back to the capital. The first was an older man with an authority to his voice that seemed to stem more from the size of his ego and title rather than his age. The other was a woman in her late 20s. Their conversation was difficult to tune out of (for everyone in the carriage) so I tuned in and learned a lot.
First, a few things which don't matter to this post but
which set the tone somewhat. I learned that the carpets in dolls houses should
be done with felt, not old carpet - the latter is too thick. Second, weddings
take a lot of driving around, so much so that this guy was taking a day off
work to do some 'preliminary gofering' for his daughter's upcoming nuptials. And finally, although I knew this
already, hayfever sucks. The chat was, for the most part, innane.
The juicy part was from the woman's side. The two were
clearly familiar with each other from work but had not had the ‘getting to know
you’ conversation yet. Many questions were asked; many personal details were
divulged. She is getting married next year (the man's daughter is getting
married too soon, so there was common ground here) and has the task of
balancing the wedding planning with her teaching postgrad this coming academic
year. Having squared the basics, she then went on to tell everyone on the fast
train to Edinburgh that she is planning to have kids in the next two years and
that she doesn't want to wait too long.
This is not normal busy train chat I’m sure you’ll agree,
but I listened on anyway. The gentleman, with his years of experience, gave a
spiel about having some life experience and spending quality time with your
partner before you have children. He was basically asking if she was ready – if
her and her partner were ready. For me this was the line and so I started to
try and block them out.
Leaving aside the fact that I was being nosy, I think my
hearing this conversation did me some good. First, it has given me something to
write a blog post about - tick! More importantly, it made me think about
planning for the future and how much I actually do it.
I stupidly opened my mouth in front of some friends one day
when we were talking about flats. I mentioned that I like to think that in ten
years I might be with someone who I would want to move in with (if we weren't
living together already) or thinking about buying a place of my own. I've not
heard the end of it since (this, the wittily coined 'ten year plan') but all
jokes aside it’s the furthest ahead I've ever thought. I surprised myself.
This 'ten year plan' was based on the 'normal' life, or at
least how what I perceive that as being. You work after uni until you reach retirement
age. You meet someone, fall in love and move in with them. You might have
children. The truth is that I don't have a plan simply because something in
there might not happen. I like to think that I'll be living with the woman I
love within ten years but the reality is that I don’t know what I’m doing at
the weekend, or even what I’m going to have for dinner.
So what was I saying at the start? Looking to the future can
be a whole lot of fun. Train woman's plans all sounded idyllic but I cringed at
the absolute nature of it all. We can't control everything (are we in total
control of anything really?) so why make plans which will only disappoint.
Maybe this idea I had in my head might become a reality, but the 'ten year
plan' – which apparently has an endless shelf-life as a source of comedy –
should probably be avoided.
In the same way that looking after the pennies takes care of
the pounds, looking after the days and months should, in theory anyway, take
care of the years which lie ahead. Anyway, in ten years I’ll be 32 and who
really wants to think about that?
Thanks for reading and I'm hoping to get a few more posts done before I go back to uni in a couple of weeks.
Martin
