There is a particularly sad fact in my life: when I'm meant to be thinking about one thing I'm probably thinking about something else. Just now I'm meant to be concentrating on my exams that are now less than a month away but I've got fish on the brain - something isn't right. Actually, I tell a lie. I was thinking about this last night when I was having dinner (yes, you guessed it: fish) when I wasn't actually meant to be studying - there is still a light at the end of the tunnel; a beacon of hope for my bizarre and sometimes worrying head. I've not theorised since I made all of those pretty pictures about sleeping back on Ramblings of a Teenager. Those halcyon days of frivolity and youthful exuberance are behind me now and new ideas must be sought from my old, decrepit mind.
So fish. You either love it, hate it or you take it or leave it - in short, it's nothing like marmite. I was sitting tucking into a huge slab of battered haddock last night when something popped into my head. After realising that someone had pinged a pea at me from the other side of the room I got down to some real thinking. I'm of course kidding. Had someone launched pea at me there would have been a storm of proportions enough to challenge the most vehement of hurricanes - I don't like getting pea-ed on! Back to the fish. Three words that have become something of an addiction of mine over the last couple of years are 'increased', 'cognitive' and 'function'. Said quickly enough in a consecutive style they create the term: increased cognitive function. That's when the theory popped into my head.
As anyone who has ever bought fish fingers before (and that's about 99.9% of students) will know that fish is high in Omega-3. This wonder, despite sounding like something out of Star Trek, is said to increase your cognitive function. Now for those less educated (or for those you just couldn't care less) this basically means increased brain function, better memory, healthier brain etc. There are few things in life that I would like more than to increase the power of my brain and so I've decided that the best course of action to take is to eat nothing but fish and chips for the rest of my life. Well of course I've not but it seems to make a modicum of logical sense - plus I really like chips.
There are a couple of problems though. Firstly I don't think things that are battered and deep-fried are generally good for your health. Having said that, every 5th or so person in this country is over-weight so what is a few more pounds amongst (fat) friends? Secondly I've been to my fair share of 'chippies' in my time and I'm not aware of the next Darwin or Newton ordering a supper. It might be something to do with the fact that the people that usually loiter in such places normally have a can of Tennants Special Brew in their grubby, shaking hands - I believe the result of consuming such a beverage is 'decreased cognitive function'.
Anyway it was just an idea. I've actually come across a few 'whole foods' that I like that apparently have the same effect. If they don't work I'm still a sucker for things that say they are good for you and even if it's only a placebo effect I'm getting then I'm happy. All that being said, when I finished my fish last night I didn't feel very much more cognitively functional than I was before. That might have been down to the beer that I was washing it down with but everyone becomes smarter when they've had a couple of pints anyway - haven't you noticed?
Thanks for reading and I hope everyone enjoyed their Easter weekend.
Martin
