We've all seen those 'don't let good times go bad' adverts which basically tell you not to binge drink and make an idiot out of yourself. I've decided that I might submit my own idea to the organisation that put out said adverts and this is what it would consist of: a short film of my day today and its many highlights (or 'lowlights' as they should probably be termed) culminating in me standing looking at myself in a mirror shaking my head. In short, today has been, hands down, the worst day of my summer and I've only got myself to blame. Yes, last night was quite fun but my 'post-fun' experience has been, let's say, less than palatable.
I always find it amusing when people say that they'll never drink again after a particularly heavy hangover. I've even said it myself in the past but I have long given up kidding myself that I will follow through on such a groundbreaking statement. Even this morning when I was standing in a cold shower having re-coated the toilet I wasn't even tempted into self-delusion. I will drink again and I'll probably drink more than I did yesterday but I won't enjoy it and here's why.
In this advert, which I think would put people off booze for life, I said that I would end it with me looking in the mirror. That would merely be for effect because I know what I look like today and it's not pretty. Blood-shot eyes, green and white face, disheveled hair and lips that look like I've been eating sandpaper. Not that I was planning on impressing anyone today but it's funny how in one brief glance at yourself you can completely alienate yourself from, well, you.I got to the stage recently where I wasn't drinking a lot and I hadn't had a hangover for a very long time - it felt nice it must be said. Today (or at least last night) brought out everything in me that I don't like.
I spent today doing what I would have done even if I was a teetotaler: watching football. I've watched the highlights from yesterday's games and 3 live matches, only deciding to miss the Barca game because I've got work at 6 in the morning. No change there really but the fact is that I've had a lot of time to replay last night in my head and some parts of it make me want to put my face through this mirror at the end of my imagined advert. I, like most people, go through stages when I'm drinking. Firstly I'm quite relaxed, then I get loud and then I usually either go home or end up thinking which when you're drunk is a crazy idea. I found myself last night, drink in hand, spending time thinking whilst everyone else was having a good time. I snapped myself out of it a few times but the moral of the story is that alcohol, instead of lowering my inhibitions it ultimately raises then even higher.
I expected that once I had a job, I would be a more confident person. It doesn't work over night but it does work eventually and since I've been working on the tills I can feel myself being more comfortable around people that I don't know. In the last couple of weeks I must have talked to well over 1000 strangers which, for me, is almost unthinkable. Last night I just didn't feel comfortable in myself and the only factor (aside from the loud music) that is different it alcohol. It's a strange old thing sometimes but I look back on last night and I can recall not feeling myself which I don't like - I'm quite fond of who I am when I'm not drinking!
Anyway that was a brief splurge about the worst hangover of the summer and my ability to dislike myself as a result. Granted, the topic is not all that interesting but look at this post firstly as a message about drinking (which you'll have read/heard a million times before) and secondly as a celebration that I can actually sit upright and not feel the need to pop off to the loo!
Thanks for reading and I hope you've all had a good weekend.
Martin
