I had to get a big stick (like a really big stick) to poke at my blog from a distance to make sure it was still alive. The signs weren't good: a few empty bottles of Scotch, a scattered box-set of 'House' and what seemed to be a half chewed packet of Haribo - it was a sorry sight and I cried profusely before arming myself with the aforementioned stick. It was surprised to see me at first and made to throw one of the scotch bottles at me but realised that it had no arms with which to do so and gave up on this futile effort. After clearing its head a little bit, it recognised me and came bounding over (after I had put in my password of course) with news that people have still been looking at my blog in my absence. Naturally it is hurt and it's going to take a lot of making up on my part but I guess that this, being my 40th post in ROATSomething, is a good place to start.
There are many things that I could write about tonight: Jimmy Saville, the reception that Angela Merkel received in Greece or even the man trying to break the sound barrier with his head - did he do it? I'll go and check in a minute. No, instead of hitting back from a month of not blogging with something topical, I'm going to tell you what I've been up to in the intervening period - don't change channel please!
The main reason for letting my blog turn into an alcoholic couch potato has been university - plain and simple. Or not so simple as the case actually is. Nothing, not even a 'welcome back lecture', could have prepared me for the storm that has been the first few weeks of 3rd year. Rumours of long reading lists and hours spent in the library were whispered around 2nd years like a story about a seal attacking and killing a dog - which actually happened by the way. In other words, nobody could quite believe it; some laughed it off; and others were physically sick with the possibility that it might be true. I can now confirm, having just finished classes in week 4, that the rumours were highly substantiated and, if anything, slightly short of the truth.
Yes, 3rd year had been a shock to the system and my life has turned into a constant marathon of reading with the finishing line always being moved at the end of each week. It's a slog, and I make it sound like I'm not enjoying myself, but the truth is that it's actually not all that bad. If you enjoy what you do and you enjoy challenging yourself with different ideas and arguments then you can't help but have a good time at university.
Something I have noticed as a result of the constant need to be reading/thinking is just how much I lost the ability to think over the summer. The thing that has highlighted this most for me has been my work which I'm now only doing at weekends - nice way to end a week at university: by doing a 13 hour shift on a Sunday! When I was working during the summer I was OK at what I was doing; still learning the ropes and making a few mistakes here and there. Since I went back to university I feel like my brain can actually do lots of things at the same time - shock horror! It's amazing what a few PDFs and a textbook will do for mental fitness.
Now it wouldn't be a blog post on ROATSomething without me moaning or generally being unhappy about something - melancholy and self-deprecation run through the very veins of my personal writing sadly! Another thing that struck me during that early transition from summer to term-time was, firstly just how much I missed seeing everyone from uni over the summer and secondly, just how lonely I had become in that time. I make it sound like I never saw anyone for 3 or 4 months and then woke up one morning and finally left the house again - this did not happen. I did my fair share of socialising over the summer but there is something oddly different about the atmosphere of university that you don't realise you miss until it's gone.
The irony of the whole thing is that my return to university has meant that I'm barely socialising at all except from lunch. However, it's the fact that I've got people around me again, who are in this rocking boat that is 3rd year with me, that makes me feel good to be back.
That's quite enough nicety for one post though because another thing I've noticed is that, as a result of this realisation that I missed people, I quite fancy some companionship. It sounds cheesy but, with a new found confidence from my job and the fact that I feel confident at university, I feel that such a thing is achievable - yet I can't bring myself to do it. The best relationship I've got at the moment is with the textbooks in the library and they get so very jealous of each other; I'm not sure if I can take their bitching for much longer. One of the upsides to that relationship though is that I can read them like a book - a Martin gag special for you there ladies and gentlemen!
Thanks for reading tonight and I hope that everyone is enjoying being back at their respective institutions as much as I am - did I not make that clear above?
Martin
