Well this feels odd. I'm not using Times New Roman, double lines spacing or footnotes. I mean I could but I don't thing that would be much appreciated by a readership who have been starved of my words for so very long. I know you've missed me and I've missed you as well! In my absence, my browser had forgotten my log-in details and, somehow, this blog has now had more than 10,000 views. It's nice to know that it's still alive somewhere on the internet.
Anyway, I've just come off the back of getting to the point in my essay writing mission that I planned to get to before Christmas so I thought I would put down a few, slightly less formal, words for you. If I can't do it now when can I?
It's only just struck me that it's Christmas tomorrow which is quite a sad illustration of my life at the moment. I think it's a combination of the essays and having a job over the festive period for the first time in my life. I was told by my manager a few weeks ago that for the I was going to dislike Christmas this year. It turns out that he was right because my shifts at work over the last month have always seem to end with a renewed dislike for the festive period - not something I'm particularly happy with it must be said. Even when I was at work yesterday, Christmas Eve-Eve, I didn't even feel remotely festive. I must have been told to have a merry Christmas by 300+ people; I better have a very bloody merry Christmas otherwise they'll all be disappointed. One of the saving graces, however, has been the lack of music in my shop - at least that part of Christmas is still a good thing for me.
So with all of the fun effectively sapped out off Christmas for me, I have to look at what it all actually means to me. Long gone is the childhood wonderment (that went a while ago), the excitement of having a holiday (that went this year) and the inevitability of having one too many beers - damn essays. Then I remember the message that I've heard recited so many times during the festive period by everyone: Christmas is about spending time with family and relaxing in their company. Tomorrow I will wake up, I'll open presents then I'll go through to Glasgow, as I have done each of the 20 years I've been alive, to spend Christmas day and boxing day with my family - that's what this is all about.
A little known fact about me, or at least one that I can't ever remember writing about in any of my previous posts, is that I started keeping a journal around about this time of the year. It came after a bad break-up and I still look back at the first few entries which were over Christmas. At that point I had completely lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas and instead sulked about not having a girlfriend. That was 4 years ago (I move on to year 5 of my journal this week) and I've changed a lot since then - Christmas has changed a lot since then.
Here's a little bit of advice for any of you suffering from a lack of Christmas spirit as I was until about an hour ago. Think about who you're spending time with over the next few days and be thankful that you are. No matter how many crappy things are going on in your life just now - whether that be essays, work or whatever - just try and forget them for a couple of days and take some time off.
My position just now? I've got 3 essays that make up 1/3 of my final mark in each of my subjects to hand in in a few weeks which are very far from completion. I've got two 6am starts at work before the turn of the year with an 11 hour shift jammed in between those two. I've built up a huge amount of stress in myself over the last couple of weeks that I can't shift. I've snapped at each member of my family countless times as a result of all of that. None of that matters, at least not for the next couple of days.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a very happy Christmas with whoever you are spending it will - oh ye, and if Santa is kind to you then that will be but a little bonus!
Martin
