I've forgotten how to write. Okay, so that is not strictly true but it has been a long time since I slipped on my blogging gloves and got down to some good ol' ramblin'. I would be lying if I said my lack of blogging recently has left a gaping hole in my life because I've been so busy with university that at times the whole thing seemed like a distant memory. Then someone asked me why I hadn't posted for a while and realised that I might quite like to spend half an hour tapping out some recent thoughts for you to chew over. So here they are: some recent thoughts.
I think I am in a very small minority of people when I say that I enjoy this time of year. In under 2 weeks I will be 1/3 of the way through my exams, with number two just around the corner. It's not that I like exams particularly - I think I would be crazy if I did - but there's something about the preparation for them that really captures my imagination. I don't know how I'll do over the next month and a half, but something tells me that if I had put in half the effort I'm putting in just now into my essays at Christmas then things might have been slightly different than they are just now. I can't remember if I blogged after getting those results back but, even though they weren't all that bad, I knew that I didn't put everything I could into them - now I'm here to make up for that.
So that brings us on to mindset. I think one of the biggest things that people struggle with during exam periods is what goes on in their head. I would like to say a few things on this for you to mull over before you go to bed/back to studying. The first thing is about the source of all the confidence and motivation crippling stress and worry that floats to the surface when exams appear on the horizon. On one level it is a fear of failure that sets it off. 'Failure' is a purely subjective concept that will differ depending on one's outlook. I felt sheepish last year when people around me were pulling their hair out about failing an exam, while I was pulling my hair out about not getting a high mark. 'Failure', in its subjective form, is a sliding scale set where we want to set it. But why do we set it at all?
Take my mindset for example. I aim pretty high and I am my own worst critic as a consequence - my reaction to those essay results is a good example. I then ask myself why I aim so high and why I fear not reaching those heights. The answer to that is twofold: 1) I enjoy doing well because it makes me feel good and makes the people around me feel good; and 2) if I do well in university and get the degree than I want then I'll give myself a fighting chance of being employable, ergo I'll be happy. For those two things I could equally have said: 1) temporary high, followed by empty low; and 2) misunderstanding of what makes me happy. Short of boring my regular readers with more from the world of Clarity and NLP, feelings of happiness and fulfillment are created by our minds, not by the things around us.
So am I saying that I should go and (in a literal sense) fail these exams or not put any effort in to passing them? No, definitely not. But I can remove that fear of failure off of my back and get on with what I need to be doing in the days that lead up to each exam. I make it sound very easy but that's only because it is. With just a little bit of thought you can deal with anything in this way. Here's what I want you all to do...
Stop worrying about what's going to happen next year. Stop worrying about what's going to happen in the summer after exams. Stop worrying about what is going to happen in your exam. Stop worrying about what you're going to do in the week before your exam. Stop worrying about what you're going to do in the coming week. Stop worrying about what you're going to be doing in two days time. Tomorrow morning when you wake up and settle into the day, think about what you're going to do and execute without any of the aforementioned worrying. Then do it the next day, and the next - soon you'll feel on top of things.
I'm going to finish with a bit of mind reading. This is going to be extra special since at least twenty people will read this post who will have exams coming up and I'll be able to read each of their minds. So you were in the library last week. It took you ten minutes to settle but you decided what you were going to study and you had everything you need around you. You were feeling a bit stressed because the very reason you were sitting in that library was because you've got exams coming up and these are the biggest exams you've ever done and you can't fail them because then you'll be unhappy if you do - the latter thoughts being a subconscious. Anyway you start reading and writing/typing and you soon forget about all of that. A few hours later you had a set of notes or you had learned something. Why? Because you were not worrying about the future; you were thinking in the moment.
The future is the single greatest cause of all our anxiety. There's another blog post in there but I'll leave you with a few examples to prove my point. Ever felt down because you've got work the next day? Future worry. Ever been scared before an interview? Future worry (about the future). Ever been apprehensive about meeting new people? Future worry.
I'll stop now because I'm going to bed. I'll get to sleep quickly for two reasons: I've had a long day at work and I'm not going to be worrying about my exams or what I'm going to do over the next two weeks to pass them. Good night!
Thanks for reading,
Martin.
