I know I said that I wouldn't blog over exam period but I can't face any more revision for tonight. It's that mentality that had dogged me over the last week or so, just at the time when I've needed a little bit extra. Having said that I've been giving 'a little bit extra' for the last month or so; it's hardly surprising that I'm feeling the effects. So with that in mind, I'm going to share a few thoughts tonight about exams and penumbra of stress, doubt, anxiety and so forth that surrounds them.
I sat my first exam of this diet on Friday past and I certainly wasn't ready for it. I don't mean that I wasn't ready to answer questions on unjustified enrichment - heck there was little else in my head - but I wasn't in the right place mentally for the exam. I hadn't prepared myself for three solid hours of writing, I hadn't prepared myself to write three essays back to back and I definitely was not ready to sit in that environment - one that I usually thrive in. It was an odd feeling and one that I hope not to repeat for next week's exam. I have an idea of why it was like that on Friday though...
Firstly, I've barely picked up a pen since the turn of the year. For someone who used to write by hand all the time it probably wasn't the best idea to suddenly switch to typing everything when I got my new laptop. During this time of our lives we are always preparing for exams, regardless how far they are away. I should have known that and not shunned the old fashioned ways that have served me so well over the years. Also there is a marked difference a two hour exam and a three hour exam: one hour exactly. Must keep that in mind next year.
Another factor is probably the nature of my revision this year. Until about a month before the exam I was doing piecemeal bits of revision without really having a focused template or a proper idea of where I was going with things. As a consequence I was finishing off blocks of notes only a couple of days before an exam. This is not ideal preparation for an exam that presumes knowledge of said notes along with a critical and analytical understanding of them. I also noticed just how much work I didn't do during the year, particularly for the subject I had the exam for on Friday. Thankfully I spent a lot of time preparing for the classes of my forthcoming exam so it has just been a case of pulling things together before getting down to business.
I like to think that I'm going to be in a better position going into next year. Unfortunately I seem to be mirroring my first two years in that regard though. I had a fairly average year in first year as I learned my new subject. I made a lot of mistakes that year and changed things for second year and pulled out something closer to what I expect from myself. This year appears to be the same deal: my first year of honours subject and I find myself wandering about looking for solid ground to build something special on. It's just a shame that its degree classification time.
OK, so it sounds like I'm coming up with excuses when in reality there is very little for me to complain about. I finished classes towards the end of march, leaving about a month and a half to get myself in the right frame of mind for these exams. To an extent I am but I didn't feel 'all there' on Friday which is a worrying position to be in going into my next two. Then again I've been through all of this before (and don't those of you that have been reading over the last couple of years know it!?) so I should be able to turn it around.
I'm looking for something special to happen in the coming week but I know it won't just come on its own. Plenty of hand-writing, plenty of sleep and plenty of positive thinking should see me through!
Thanks for reading and I hope everyone's exams are going well so far - wish everyone the best for the week ahead!
Martin.
