Until about six months ago I didn't really have to deal with people. Prior to getting a job I didn't ever have to talk to people that I didn't know except at university or, well, in fact that was the only time really. I'm the kind of person that tries to cut down as much as possible on potentially irritating conversations - i.e. small talk. Two examples: I use the ticket machine at the train station instead of getting my ticket on the train and always use the self-serve machines in shops - as irritating as they can be, anything is a step up from someone talking about the weather. Imagine my disgust when I found myself on the other side of the counter talking about how cold it is outside to hundreds of strangers! That's not what I'm here to talk about today though - I'm happy with the way that I talk to people. The topic of today's post is more about a certain type of person that I occasionally serve - the young parent.
Now I'll set out my stall early here to avoid any misconceptions about my views on having children at a young age. Firstly, you won't catch me being called 'Daddy' any time soon; mostly through choice but also partly because the odds are stacked against such a thing occurring to me - you do the maths. That's not really the issue though because I'm a pretty sensible person who knows the mistake that I would be making in my current position if I was ever to let it happen. That being said, I'm not against people my age having children either. Yes I think it's mad, but I don't think I'm in any position to be able to say what is right and wrong in every case. What I am against is people not thinking about their responsibilities to themselves and their child. What I'll argue is that that society lets this happen and that something needs to be done to counter it.
During an average day at work, I would say that about 20-30% of the people that I serve look miserable. Some just because the weather is rubbish (as I'll hypocritically point out to them if I'm feeling chatty) and others because they've got a kid in tow. I'll have a good look at them and wonder why they did it? Why did they put themselves in such a position as to ruin, not only their own life, but also the life of the screaming wean in the buggy? I almost laughed the other day when I asked a woman (I think 'girl' might be more apt) with a child if she wanted cashback on her card. She gave a stern 'no' (I don't charge extra for manners you know) to which I thought 'why couldn't she have said that ten months ago?' - I have to keep myself amused somehow.
It wasn't because I thought she was a bad mother nor was it because I'm a snob - which I am a little bit but I'm not ashamed about it. It was because both mother, child and father (who was sulking in the corner staring me down as if I was going to make a move on the girl) looked absolutely miserable. She might well be a candidate for mother of the year and he might well be the best dad that a child could ask for, but I have to wonder if their actually happy - they didn't look it to me.
What worries me even more is when I compare myself to people like that - only as far as the child thing goes I hasten to add. I consider myself to be a pretty well rounded and mature person for my age but if you were to ask if I could look after a child I would turn on my heels and run for the hills. I doubt if anyone is ever 'ready' to have children but when I see people younger than me trying to bring up a kid that is only 19 years younger than them, I have to question why society lets it happen.
I'm sure than somebody somewhere knows the answer to this. It might be that sex education is not taught well enough and from a young enough age. It might be that having a child is the only option for people who don't have a discernible future ahead of them. It might even be that having a child is the only way that someone can get themselves a house. All of these things must be a consequence of some higher failing within our society - and the statistics show this as well, time and again.
I did a little bit of reading on this before starting this post and I wasn't at all surprised by what I found. Teenage pregnancy is most common in the poorer areas of Scotland than in the more affluent. Kids are having sex at an earlier age than they did twenty years ago. The abortion rate in Scotland is one of the highest in the world.
There are a number of reasons for the above facts, chief amongst them must be that people are being exposed to sexual content and pressures from a young age and aren't being given the correct level of education in response to that. My guess is that the sex education that children receive nowadays is no different to what I got throughout my formative years and no different to what people 5 or 6 years older than me got either. The numbers change (for the worse) but there doesn't seem enough being down to counter-balance them.
The main reason why I write this today is because of what I saw when I looked at the child in the (all too common) family that I started this post with. The child, who can't have been much more than two years old, stared at me with a look of resignation - something that I should never be able to decipher from the eyes of one so young. The parents actually looked beyond resignation, trying their best to bring up a child when they are only just coming out of their own childhoods. Maybe it's all they know, but it shouldn't be and something, therefore, needs to change.
Would I give up Budweiser for baby food and newspapers for nappies? No, but then again I've got, what I described above as, a 'discernible future' ahead of me - everyone should have a future and I just feel that some aren't even given the chance of one.
Thanks for reading,
Martin.
