I've started writing this Valentine's Day post two or three times now and each time it just sounds like I'm moaning about being single. The furthest I got into it was a story about a couple I saw the other day saying goodbye to each other. As they went their separate ways, the woman wiped her lips and the man had a spring in his step. However I realised that this observed contrast in post-kiss reactions didn't go so much to the heart of my dislike for Valentine's Day - it went much deeper. The moral of the story (which took up two or three paragraphs so you'll be glad that it's been dropped) I found was this: in a relationship it is often the case that the two people are not on the same page. It's quite sad and results in weeks and months of people's lives being lived under false pretenses. However, that isn't what I wanted to write about so I've cut it short(er) so I can get on with the task in hand.
I didn't really notice Valentine's Day (or, as I called it last year, the 'annual day of the love giving obligation') coming around this year for one reason or another. The first is that I don't care, nor do I have a reason to - I don't like the concept of the day and I'm single. The other reason is that I don't spend as much time 'out and about' as I did last year which is testament to the increased workload that I've got this year, plus the fact that I've got a job now. In fact, the only reason why I remembered it was coming up at all was that I was scanning Valentine's cards at the weekend, complete with sickly messages of eternal and unwavering love. I thought about asking the customers about it - whether they really meant it or whether they were just buying the card because they have to - but that's above my pay grade.
The reason why I don't like it never changes. I don't feel that there should be a specified day in the year when people have to give each other presents because that's just what people do. In contrast, Christmas (although it is itself heavily commercialised) has a meaning behind it and people exchange gifts as a consequence of that meaning. My view on Valentine's Day however, is that the head-honchos at the major card retailers are the only reason why people feel obliged to observe it. Nobody should ever feel 'obliged' to express their love for someone.
The thing is that society, as in so many other areas, is stuck in a rut. The parties to a relationship (very formal I know but hey, everyone loves a party) would look mighty daft if they didn't get something for their partner. If all of their friends and fellow 'relationship participants' are doing it then social convention dictates that they must do so as well. In fact, if a guy was to do nothing at all on the 14th of February then he might have to think about changing his Facebook status to 'single...and too scared to do it again'.
What I'm getting at is that there is a fundamental issue with the way that society works which is exemplified by the monstrosity that is Valentine's Day. 'Person/couple A' feel that they have to observe it because it's advertised everywhere and it's 3 for 2 on all Valentine's crap. When 'person/couple A' take part then this obliges 'person/couple B' to take part and so on and so forth. It is now at a stage of routine (much like my annual rant about it) with the result that every loved up man and their dog automatically gets out the tacky teddies and feels the need to show their other half how they feel on a particular day. An 'I Love You' teddy and a box of chocolates is thus born out of the fact that everyone else is doing it. What did Kipling say about keeping your head when everyone else is losing theirs again?
Unfortunately my argument, as with every year that I've written about Valentine's Day, can be easily rebutted with the fact that I'm single and have never had a reason to 'celebrate' this particular day in our calendar - everyone get the hankies out! To that I retort that I have eyes, I have ears, I have a brain and I am a keen observer. Single or not, I think anyone who buys a Valentine's themed gift is mad, and even madder to think that they are doing is solely out of their love for someone else.
And with that I will leave you. I've got plans for Valentine's night but alas they do not involved a lady friend. However, I would sooner stab myself in the eyeball than spend Valentine's in a location where I might be exposed to the whole thing. I just keep telling myself that it'll soon be the 15th and that everyone will return to normal - at least as normal as society allows them to be.
Thanks for reading, I love you all - and not just because it's Valentine's Day!
Martin
