Q: Why do people hit walls?Maybe because they are angry. Maybe because they are frustrated. Maybe because they are not trying hard enough. Maybe because they are trying too hard.A: It depends.
That answer is one I have been giving for the last four and a half years of my life - it comes with the territory. When I arrived at university to study law in 2010 I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if I wanted to be a lawyer or, more importantly, I didn't really know what a lawyer did. Fast forward to today and all that stand between me and my first job as a lawyer are a few exams.
Scary? Yes. Exciting? Absolutely.
Another question then comes to mind. Why am I feeling the way I am about things just now? I can't wait to pull on my suit and walk into the law firm I'm going to work for for the first time proper. But at the same time I'm struggling to find the motivation to get over the line at university. Why?
The work I have to do isn't all that difficult and I've been here before, having taken more exams over the last eight or so years than I wish to imagine. Therefore, the answer lies elsewhere, and I think I know where.
I've been in full-time education for all of my life, bar the years when my shoe size was bigger than my age. Then someone suddenly turns around to me and says, 'that's it, it's over'. To put it another way, for the first time in my life I can properly assess the fruits of my labour. All of those hours studying, laughing and stressing come down to this. The book gets closed here, and a new one opens.
Still scary? Yes.
However this isn't the end of an era for me, but I have been tricked into thinking it is. I wish I could remember who told me one of the most important things I've ever been told about the legal profession: when I pull on the aforementioned suit and walk into the aforementioned law firm I will still be continuing my aforementioned education. No new book, and those fruits are still very much growing.
Exciting? Absolutely.
And that's what I have forgotten recently. My profession (a sense of ownership which I am proud to display) is one in which you never stop learning. It is one in which you never say 'that's it, it's over'. I should never have lost sight of that.
I have been sitting staring at three folders (being the number of subjects I have exams in) for the last week and have felt reluctant to do anything with them. Until I decided to write this post I had forgotten that these aren't the final three hurdles before the finish line; they are just three more hurdles for me to get over. When I down tools for the summer, it will only be momentarily because, at the end of July, I'll pick them right back up again.
I think I'm mixing metaphors - might be time to wrap this one up.
So why do people hit walls? As I said, it depends. It depends on what your interpretation of the question is. Hitting a wall might be punching it, or it could be a mental thing - it is all about interpretation. Because I have dainty knuckles I don't punch walls - or anything for that matter. It must therefore all be in my head. In reminding myself of what I've chosen to do with my life, I now have a question along with an answer that I've used so many times at university.
Why have I hit a wall? Well, it depends - and around we go.
Thanks for reading,
Martin
